Gambling, corruption and alice bands. An unique insight into how England's footballers have raised the stakes.
As Channel 4 signs off after seven successful years of cricket coverage with an England Ashes win, we take an exclusive peek at Michael Atherton's private journal.
Wenger, the lonely dick always a step behind his quarry certainly sits more comfortably than the idea of the French master tactician as a “voyeur”. Mourinho’s most damning accusation conjures up ghastly images of our hero in a dirty mac thumbing furtively through illegally procured photographs of Frank Lampard
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
So, to paraphrase the tabloids, the slippery, money-grubbing sex-pest is off. But the World Cup's still ruined for me because if we lose (which we will) there will be the usual hand-wringing and blame-levelling that I find so depressing, and if we win I'll be subjected that Swedish imbecile grinning vacantly down at me from atop a London bus. I'm not sure what's worse. Still, I wonder who's next?
Military precision: The England cricket team warm up for India with a spot of paintballing in the West Midlands.
It quickly became evident he was in some discomfort despite the customary open-necked shirt, pressed camel chinos and boyish grin - Gary struggles on his golfing debut.
I am a fervent Hick apologist – and I admit that frankly I’m a bit of a bore about it at times. When he fails I am miserable. When he scores a hundred I inwardly glow and outwardly fist-pump the air like a deranged loon.
Still bitter, still twisted – Michael Atherton is a commentator in crisis.
Tevez transfer saga comes to a head in Sheffield boozer.
For just £5000 plus expenses and Paul Merson’s bar bill, you can now hire the erudite and witty Jeff Stelling to emcee your nuptials.
The romantic fiction / locker-room crossover gathers pace with the latest offering from Mills and Boon.
The stark reality of a romantic liaison with Serena Williams would no doubt hit home the moment you suffered a pulverised rib-cage after dressing as a US Open line judge in a misguided attempt at role-play.
Has anyone else noticed the eerie symmetry between David Cameron’s coalition cabinet and the soon to be announced England World Cup football squad?
They’ve cheated us of our moment. When it suited them, they chose ambivalence over their fabled sporting passion. I am a fervent Aussie-phile – but a little bit of that long-nurtured warmth departed me yesterday
The Andy Gray fiasco - Unique access to Martin Tyler's private grief...