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Amateur Scribe

Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents

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Brave Lauren Cole, 5, said that children everywhere would do their best to keep the memory of Father Christmas alive. "Mummy told me not to worry about Mrs. Claus or the elves because they have stopped making all those presents, and are now busy building a shrine to Santa in Lapland."

Lauren concluded that she was "happy" Father Christmas was now in heaven playing party games with the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny, who also perished recently in unrelated incidents involving pillow suffocation and death by chocolate respectively.

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