(The Original)

Amateur Scribe

Rugby World Cup Breeds New Style of Yobbo

wills harry

Some typical rugby louts watch lots of big men falling over

Casualty departments throughout the capital are cancelling all leave as they experience an unprecedented number of admissions for strained necks after over-zealous headlocks, singed pubic hair and the physical and psychological after-effects of floppy-haired young men called Toby drinking fifteen pints of Stella with their trousers round their ankles.

The recent smoking ban has also been ritually flouted with a succession of Old Etonians lighting their mates’ farts during Argentina’s opening day victory over France, and some earnest Cambridge University Arts graduates with rich ancestral heritage sucking nervously on large Cuban cigars and clutching expensive single malts as England played out a narrow victory over the USA.

“It’s quite extraordinary,” the spokesman went on. “These individuals are perfectly well behaved most of the time, but plonk them in front of a big screen and show them large men in tight shorts falling over on top of each other, and they degenerate in hoodlums. Give me the tattooed thugs who pass for football fans any day.”

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