(The Original)

Amateur Scribe


Other Stuff

"I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts."

Mark Twain

The Curse of the Christ Year

With the brutal inevitability of Richard Dawkins nasally browbeating a kindly rural vicar, I find myself careering towards my 33rd birthday.

Read More

Giles has a Coren-ary

I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for the crazy, pompous arse. I used to clock him barrelling out of my favourite London eatery - the Anchor & Hope in Southwark – replete on Beef Wellington and red wine and no doubt mentally concocting his latest wry review.

Read More

Helping Lost Boys Find Love

A couple of days ago, I registered with LadsLads.com – the “world’s fastest growing free gay community”, no less.

Read More

No Picnic for Teddy Teacher

How did the authorities find out about Ms Gibbons’ heinous crime? Was there a snitch in the staffroom? A milk monitor mole?

Read More

Some Other Russian Serial Killers

With the Chessboard Killer safely behind bars, we look at the psychopaths who inspired him.

Read More

Bomb Sweden

Oh that Scandinavian hell-hole. Oh that malevolent warehouse of cold, characterless pine and cardboard boxes.

Read More

Stop the Press! Imposter Alert!

It had to happen. First the amateur pornographer swiped my name, and now an ingenuous, God-bothering blogger from New Jersey means there are three Amateur Scribes in operation. Not that I'm bitter.

Read More

Google me Ragged - Amateur Scribe in Porno Shocker!

While I coo and gloat as my hit counter soars up to and beyond the 30,000 mark, it’s worth pointing out that the large majority of visitors stumble upon Amateur Scribe purely by accident. Indeed - Most of my punters are perverts...

Read More

I come to bury the Crocodile Hunter – not to praise him…

I have no particular affection for Irwin – I considered him borderline psychotic the way his eyes bulged and enthusiasm perpetuated - A khaki-clad, baby-faced maniac in rucked up shorts, I thought – But he was, at least, a doer.

Read More

Beyond the Fringe: The Edinburgh Festival 2006

News, reviews and larks from the world's premier comedy festival (plus a little light stalking)

Read More

No Grace and out of Favour

Chipolata? Is that the best you lot can do? Fooking king-size saveloy more like it. You jealous bastards – Us Prescotts have always been hung like ruddy donkeys.

Read More

End of Story

I tell you what, Alexei, you write the first half of the story, and I'll write the second. And if you didn't envisage a homoerotic plotline when you started the job, by Christ you've got one now...

Read More

Banishing the Bad Stuff

Shane Richie inspires a catalogue of doom and despair and unadulterated hatred. Strangely.

Read More

Methinks they Protest Too Much

If all fox-followers are as petulant and precious as Otis Ferry I may have to rethink my position as a keen, opinionated and wildly under-informed hunt aficionado.

Read More


Never a Cross Word

I can empathise with Huntley's predicament (crossword-wise only, obviously. The negative reaction he has received as a result of the whole murder/paedophilia thing is a nasty business and, I’m afraid to say, largely of his own making).

Read More

Crossword melbou

A Very British Disaster

You can bomb us, maim us, kill our people indiscriminately, but you cannot break us.

Read More

You are viewing the text version of this site.

To view the full version please install the Adobe Flash Player and ensure your web browser has JavaScript enabled.

Need help? check the requirements page.

Get Flash Player