Amateur Scribe

(The Original)

Other Stuff

Never a Cross Word


I can empathise with Huntley's predicament (crossword-wise only, obviously. The negative reaction he has received as a result of the whole murder/paedophilia thing is a nasty business and, I’m afraid to say, largely of his own making).


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A Very British Disaster


You can bomb us, maim us, kill our people indiscriminately, but you cannot break us.


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Methinks they Protest Too Much


If all fox-followers are as petulant and precious as Otis Ferry I may have to rethink my position as a keen, opinionated and wildly under-informed hunt aficionado.


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Banishing the Bad Stuff


Shane Richie inspires a catalogue of doom and despair  and unadulterated hatred. Strangely.


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"I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts."


Mark Twain

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End of Story


I tell you what, Alexei, you write the first half of the story, and I'll write the second. And if you didn't envisage a homoerotic plotline when you started the job, by Christ you've got one now...


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No Grace and out of Favour


Chipolata? Is that the best you lot can do? Fooking king-size saveloy more like it. You jealous bastards – Us Prescotts have always been hung like ruddy donkeys.


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Beyond the Fringe: The Edinburgh Festival 2006


News, reviews and larks from the world's premier comedy festival (plus a little light stalking)


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I come to bury the Crocodile Hunter – not to praise him…


I have no particular affection for Irwin – I considered him borderline psychotic the way his eyes bulged and enthusiasm perpetuated - A khaki-clad, baby-faced maniac in rucked up shorts, I thought – But he was, at least, a doer.


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Google me Ragged - Amateur Scribe in Porno Shocker!


While I coo and gloat as my hit counter soars up to and beyond the 30,000 mark, it’s worth pointing out that the large majority of visitors stumble upon Amateur Scribe purely by accident. Indeed - Most of my punters are perverts...


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Stop the Press! Imposter Alert!


It had to happen. First the amateur pornographer swiped my name, and now an ingenuous, God-bothering blogger from New Jersey means there are three Amateur Scribes in operation. Not that I'm bitter.


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Bomb Sweden


Oh that Scandinavian hell-hole. Oh that malevolent warehouse of cold, characterless pine and cardboard boxes.


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Some Other Russian Serial Killers


With the Chessboard Killer safely behind bars, we look at the psychopaths who inspired him.


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No Picnic for Teddy Teacher


How did the authorities find out about Ms Gibbons’ heinous crime? Was there a snitch in the staffroom? A milk monitor mole?


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The Curse of the Christ Year


With the brutal inevitability of Richard Dawkins nasally browbeating a kindly rural vicar, I find myself careering towards my 33rd birthday.


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Giles has a Coren-ary


I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for the crazy, pompous arse. I used to clock him barrelling out of my favourite London eatery - the Anchor & Hope in Southwark – replete on Beef Wellington and red wine and no doubt mentally concocting his latest wry review.


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Helping Lost Boys Find Love


A couple of days ago, I registered with – the “world’s fastest growing free gay community”, no less.


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